Sit to Stay

Lately, as I sit to drop into stillness, it feels like it is burning underneath my skin, needles piercing all the way to and through my bones. My inner “I”-maker wants to run. We desire to escape the inescapable. There’s a deep restlessness inside, a resistance that tells me I shouldn’t have to endure this, but I sit, feeling it all. Not even knowing what it is that we sit with.

We sit by the window, looking out onto the river, watching it float past—never the same drop of water twice. Another reminder of the flow within. Each day we sit, even though it takes everything we are to remain. We sit with the hope that one day it will feel lighter, that better days are waiting on the other side of aversion and resistance. But even that hope is merely an illusion. Better days aren’t ahead; they’re here, right now, hidden beneath our stories and ignorance. We’re too busy seeing the world as we are and not as it is.

The transformation we desire doesn’t require waiting. It happens in an instant of clarity when we let go of the need for something better and embrace what is. By sitting and staying with the drops as they flow to the deepest parts, we create the space to receive who we are. The more we try to skip past the very thing we resist, the more it will follow us, lurking behind every distraction, until we’re forced to face it. It never disappears, just waits for us in a different face—until we stop, sit, and allow it to be. Only then does it start to loosen its grip. And still, we sit.