Become Whole

What is the most human thing you can do? I would say helping someone else. I would claim that we can only be our true selves if we're doing something for someone else. Some people are more outgoing than others, but human interaction is an important cornerstone. Just think about it… where do we go when we are experiencing mental hardship? To our families and friends, or a psychologist to talk. There's power in human interactions but there's a significant difference in how we interact with others and what is good and what is bad for us. Today I often see people do something for someone else not because they want to help them, but because it puts them in a good light. In a time of social media, we are rarely doing something for someone else because of the simple act of doing something for someone else. Do you know someone that is doing a lot for others and is getting all worked up? Is that person expecting something in return? What people want in return differentiates from person to person. Some want something nice for them in return, others just want to be praised for what they did. We are all so different. In all cases, the truth is that if we expect something in return we end up with inner conflict. We think we don’t get what we think we deserve. It is like putting bricks on your side of the scale, while the other side rises and rises without the other person putting something back on their side. What would be if you would just drop the bricks and scale and just do? Your own inner self would feel a whole lot better as you're not creating an inner conflict by expecting something that might not even happen.
There are multiple psychological studies done,  that support what I'm trying to say. For example, participants did either spend money on themselves or someone else. People that spent money pro-social versus personal reported greater happiness that lasted for longer periods of time. The differences were not huge, but it supports what I'm trying to say.

To be able to answer the first question of this blog post and to be the best version of yourself you have to learn how to control your own mind. We are all able to do it, just lack the tools to do so…
In the Yoga Sutra, it says ‘Chitta vritti nirodhah’ – ‘We become whole by stopping how the mind turns.’ So it does start with ourselves first. We have to be OK with who we are before we are able to help others (and be human). Notice that ‘Becoming whole by stopping how the mind turn’ implies that at the foundation we are already whole, if not for our own minds. We have been whole, we just forgot. Remembering is seeing things for what they are rather than what we want them to. This is easier said than done. How can we think in a way we are not able to think? How can we see what we are not able to see? How are we able to understand what we are not able to understand? It starts with being willing to work on the self, to learn. That’s why education shouldn’t stop after school. It only begins and the great thing about it is you are the one that decides how and what you want to learn, not your teacher. Unfortunately, that’s also when we start to mix up politics, spirituality, and religion.
Over 1000’s of years, there have been many different ways to stop the mind from turning all around the world.
The Japanese use concepts called Kensho and Satori. Learning through pain or learning through insight.
Christians in Europe used prayer, which has similarities to the Buddhist practice of meditation in Asia. In ancient India, people used yoga to make the unconscious conscious. To bring awareness to body and mind and learn how to control it. From your practice, you take it out in your life and might be able to remember how it feels to be whole. We are very blessed to live at the time we are living in now. We have such a wide range of tools to choose from.
The moment you start seeing what you couldn't see before is when you are able to answer the very first question in this blog yourself. The moment you arrive in your ultimate reality you understand the meaning of quotes like:
“We have two lives. One when we are born and another one when we realized that we only have one.” Or
“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it faith.”

Inspiration:

Book —> ‘Yoga Sutra of Patanjali’
Blogpost —> ‘Kensho Vs. Satori’ by Vishen Lakhiani
Harvard Study —> https://dash.harvard.edu/bitstream/handle/1/11189976/dunn,%20aknin,%20norton_prosocial_cdips.pdf